I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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