id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
