last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
