Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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