Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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