Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
