These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
