i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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