I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
