You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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