just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
