I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
