You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
