Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
