he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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