im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
People in love make me want to vomit
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
