one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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