sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
