Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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