Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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