And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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