need another drink. this is the easiest way
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
