Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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