And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
