I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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