Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
