Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
