my sisters under your porch take her home
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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