I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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