see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
