Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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