Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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