Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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