That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
