i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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