You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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