Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
