my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize