He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
