We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
