After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
