coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
