Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
