This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize