Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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