..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
