I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
