To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
