Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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