can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
