Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
