Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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