Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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