On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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