his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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