You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
