so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
