Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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