her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need a beard to bite.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
