Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
