dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
