i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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